sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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