WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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