When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
two words...techno handjob
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
