gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i out mim tonsoeep
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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