I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
