I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
