JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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