you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
