"it" just moved
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
