i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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