Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
