well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
