the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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