glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
