I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
