I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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