My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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