I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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