So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
