What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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