So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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