So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
