Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
