i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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