heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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