"it" just moved
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Shame - the story of my life.
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