I want to stick my p in your. b.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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