I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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