think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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