The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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