weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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