I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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