He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
