How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
