Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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