I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
