Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
