READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
