Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
