I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
