Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
