Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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