Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
