Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
