JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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