whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
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