I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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