I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
