what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Let's paint friendship bongs
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
