dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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