so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
