Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
