worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
