So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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