i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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